A few steps backward

I suppose I was just about due for some bad news, but I think the timing could have been a little kinder!
It seems I had a heart attack yesterday afternoon.......yep, little surreal hey!
I always knew that my heart was gong to be where all the trouble would come from, they had made that very clear during my early appointments, that the cancer being in the heart was terribly unusual but also there is nothing they can do for it.
The pain in my chest yesterday was unbearable. In hindsight, I really should have called he ambulance, but I kept trying to tell myself that it was just indigestion. I think I really freaked out Melissa though...she was pretty certain that something a bit more than a tummy ache was going on but didn't think it her place to say, "I think we should call an ambulance", I don't know if that was maybe what I needed though, someone to tell me that I needed more help. A bit of reassurance....Anyway, I will know better next time.
Melissa instead suggested I call Jenelle, my nurse, to get her opinion. She didn't get the message until this morning so that was no use to me! Anyway, after about 3 hours all the pain went away and apart from being absolutely exhausted I felt OK.
Jenelle got my message first thing this morning and naturally called straight away. She was horrified and of course really worried about me. She came over and decided that it would be best for me to go to hospital to have it checked out before we get into our bedded down plans for next week. She tried to call the doctors from here to get their opinion on what I should do but was unable to get hold of them. In the late afternoon they finally got back to her after having a discussion on my symptoms and came up with a few revelations. Firstly, they believe the melanoma is causing the pain and not the effusion. What that means is there is nothing they can do about the melanoma whereas the effusion could need to be drained. The upside of this was that I didn't have to go to hospital because there is nothing they can do anyway! The deal is I can sit tight,but if the pain comes back very badly again I have to go back to hospital. I thought that was pretty fair!
The downside is it was my "seems to be weekly lately" wake up call. A reminder of my disease and a part of it that will probably be my ultimate downfall. The only question is a matter of time. How long will it take to overpower my heart and render it useless?
Anyway, who knows, and at this point it probably shouldn't be something I should be worrying about. Just focus on the good stuff and taking care of myself.
Well, Merry Christmas and let's hope I stay out of hospital. xxxxx

NEVER, NEVER, NEVER GIVE UP!