Going home!

Hooray.....I am going home this arvo!
I don't want to get too excited though until I am actually walking out the door. If there is one thing you learn very quickly it's that you have to be flexible. You have to be ready to change all plans from one hour to the next. That's a little difficult to come to terms with when you are a control freak like me.
There is nothing worse than losing control, and I find that I have lost control everywhere. Maybe that's what this is all about for me.........a lesson in learning to let go. Pretty drastic measure to go to though I must say. It even makes the whole going home event difficult, while I am obviously thrilled to be going home, I am also a bit apprehensive.......
Everything has changed now. I can't do the things I used to do, I won't be able to do anything much really, except hang out on the lounge and spend as much time with my beautiful boys as I can. While that does sound very appealing, for someone who is a control freak, very anal, and likes to be the one doing all the work because of course no-one can do it as well as me, this is a very daunting prospect.
I am still struggling to come to terms with how 3 weeks ago I was researching buying a campertrailer for family holidays for the next 15 years or so with the boys, and within 24 hours your world is turned upside down and the next thing you are planning a funeral. How does that happen? And so suddenly.
Anyway, on a brighter note my first chemo cycle seems to have gone OK so far, (touch wood). Minimal nausea and no vomiting. Apparently the worst time is 7-14 days after infusion so maybe I shouldn't be getting too excited just yet!!
With any luck though, I won't need to go back onto this drug because my result for the b-raf gene will have come back positive and I will be able to move on to the new trial drug in a fortnight. Then I'll really give this Melanoma what for. Man has it picked the wrong body to take up residence.
Well, that's it for now xxx

NEVER, NEVER, NEVER GIVE UP!